Today, the world is going through a period of hatred. World peace is fading away, tension is building up which could lead to another world war. People across the globe are living in an age of terror – going shopping or being in a crowd, they fear  suicide bombings; taking a plane, they become worried about hijackings or possible missile attacks launched by terrorists.  For these problems, we all put the blame on other  people, other races, or other nations. However, after a careful and thorough consideration, we find that anger is one of the  main causes of every conflict. Once gripped by fury, one will  not be able to eat nor sleep well; one will also be consumed by fury regardless of time or place. Family squabbles, workplace discords, terrorist attacks, as well as warfare, all originate from anger. Therefore, anger is one of the world’s biggest dangers, and must be eliminated in a bid to save mankind.

How to Control Anger

1. Consider the harm caused by anger: anger is  poisonous to the body as one cannot eat or sleep. It causes  feelings to become heated and the face to become ugly.  Those who are close to you feel uncomfortable and draw apart.  It causes you to lose control and cause trouble and arguments  which may end with injury or death. If you are not angry, your  body does not suffer, your close friends and family are not troubled. Control over anger is, therefore, beneficial both to  yourself and those close to you. One reader related the following personal experience which showed the detrimental effect of anger as well as the power of controlling one’s anger:

          “In the second round of the All Thailand Table Tennis  Championships team event, our opposition tried to provoke us and succeeded in making us angry. We were really mad and  that caused us to perform poorly and went down by 2 sets  and would have lost if we dropped one more set. However,  when we managed to calm our minds and stem the angry  feelings, our performance changed and we won the last 3 sets, taking us through to the third round.”

2 Take a break as soon as you recognize that you're angry. You can take a break by stopping what you're doing, getting away from whatever is irritating you, and/or just taking a breather. Getting away from whatever is upsetting you will make it infinitely easier to calm down. Try it out in these situations:

          • If you're experiencing road rage, pull over on a side road and turn off the car.

3. Don’t think or care about things or people that cause  you to anger. If you don’t think or care, then you will be able to  let go of anger. Pretend that you are watching television,  when disturbing or distressing pictures that you do not like  come on, you can close your eyes or even switch the television   off!

4. Switch your thoughts to those which will not cause   you to anger. The examples are as follows:

5. Find something to do to make you forget your anger  such as doing exercise, watching television, going for a walk, doing housework or reading a book.

6. Try to discover the reasons for your anger. Find the  source or contributing factors. Once you find the root cause of   your anger it is much easier to control.

7. Vent your anger by finding a quiet place, away from  other people and then shouting as loud as you want. Or else  you can vent your anger through writing down your feelings.   You may even write down your enemy’s name on a piece of  paper and then scratch it out, crumple it up, and burn it! Once  you have relieved your anger, forgive your enemy and stop  feeling angry. This should be done only if all the other methods  are ineffective.

Examples of Anger Management in Daily Life

❃ If someone wakes you up with a telephone call in  the middle of the night, don’t get angry. The caller may have  dialled a wrong number, or it may be an emergency. Ask before  you jump to conclusions. If it is, indeed, a prank caller, just think   “Forget it! He is either mad or drunk.” Remember the saying,   “Don’t mind the mad, don’t blame the drunk.” If you get  annoyed, then you will just lose sleep and the prankster will   have succeeded. He may even do it again! But if you ignore  it, he will lose interest and stop bothering you.

❃ If someone cuts in front of you on the road, don’t  get angry. Just think “Perhaps she is in an emergency” and forgive her. Or else, think “Forget it! If she wants to drive  recklessly, then she will either have an accident or be stopped by the police.” There is no point in getting annoyed by this  type of person because you will risk losing concentration which may cause you to have an accident yourself!

❃ If you hear someone whom you hold in high respect  being berated or gossiped about, it would be pretty hard not to  get angry. This is because getting angry is easy – it requires  no special abilities or skills – even a baby can get angry with  no practice! Not getting angry when provoked, on the other  hand, is difficult. It is a special ability, as difficult to find and  as rare as a diamond. Therefore, if you want to become a  priceless diamond, don’t get angry easily.  Another line of thought is that even the mightiest of  people such as religious leaders or leaders of superpower   nations are berated or gossiped about. Humans and gossip   go hand in hand. It is unavoidable. Therefore, as it is impossible   to stop people from talking, one should rather protect one’s   own heart from anger. Purifying your own heart is much better  than trying to improve others.

❃ If your religious beliefs are condemned, just reflect  on the fact that both sides in any conflict will believe that  they are right and the opposing side is wrong. In the same  way, people with different faiths will believe themselves to be  right and others to be wrong. Conflict between different   religions has been around for a long time. It has led to numerous wars both in the past and present, and will also do  so in the future. If you have true faith in your religion and  truly believe others to be wrong, there is no need to listen  to the criticisms of others. If you are sure that they are  wrong, do warn them out of compassion, but if they choose  not to listen, then do not get angry or vindictive. Let them face  their own fate!

❃ Sometimes even relatives get angry at each other  over small matters. Both sides will be too proud and obstinate to speak to each other. However, if either side sends a gift, such  as a New Year’s card or a birthday present, to the other, the forming of a bridge with a gift can ease the tension.

The Angry Die More Quickly

          At the time that I (Tor Liangpiboon) was admitted for treatment  at Chulalongkorn Hospital, in a special room next to mine was a  recuperating senior aristocrat. One day, he paid me a visit. He  asked me about my illness and cordially told me that he would  be returning home in a couple of days. The next day, he walked  to my bed, smiling, and said he was leaving the hospital in the  following evening, so I congratulated him on his speedy recovery.  The next morning, there was a commotion in his room.  When my attendant came, I asked him to see what happened.  The attendant came back and told me that the door was  slightly opened, but nobody was allowed in, which meant that  the aristocrat was possibly in danger. Later, I heard that he had died that day, despite the attempts made to save his life. The  cause of his death was the old man’s very own daughter who, unfortunately, must have done something so wrong that the  father had refused to forgive her, to see her, or to let her in  the house for many years. Learning that he was ill and was  back on his feet, the daughter came to pay him a visit. The  sight of his much-hated child triggered his fury. Mouth wideopen,  he collapsed, and departed this life.

(From The Law of Karma, by Tor Liangpiboon)
 

Keep Calm Before Doing Any Harm

          Anger is the greatest threat to the world. It is the real  terrorist, humanity’s true enemy. Even the best friends and members of family are turned into bitter enemies by anger.  Humans should look for ways to destroy anger and not for ways  to kill or harm each other at anger’s bidding. The many ways  proposed above are like armor and weapons in the fight  against anger. The readers are invited to choose from them to  arm themselves in the battle against anger. Even if you do not  manage to kill the anger, at least you will be protected from it.

Tips

          • If you're annoyed because someone is having a go at you, imagine their words just washing over you and when you notice they've finished talking either look at them blankly and say "so" or smile, say "you're absolutely right" and walk away.